no lie

Been a long time. Again. New typeface, though. I felt like I needed to write this. I'm not going to lie.

I don't love any artists. I don't love FT Island. I don't love CNBLUE. I don't love TVXQ. I don't know why, but I don't feel like I can do that anymore. How can I come to love them when I don't even make enough time for me to sleep? How can I truly love them when I have so many other things to think about in my life?

I wish I could go back to the days when I could just push everything else away that I didn't want to think about. Those were the days when I could truly say, "I love FT Island. I love TVXQ." But it's just not the same any more. I can't go back to those days.

Does that make me a fake fan?

A place I like is closing soon. Everyone here was crying about it because they were sad. But they never asked me for help, even though I was there all the time. I could have helped. Now it feels too late. I really wish then that I knew. Maybe I could have had the power to change.

And yesterday I had a scary dream. It wasn't scary at first. I suppose it was more like a scary thought to end my dream. But it shed some light on my personality and how that affects my relationships. I woke up a little afraid, a little sad. I wish I could save her. I wish I could save a lot of things.

Does that make me a fake superhero?

And then I had another thought. If I stopped thinking, would it make me stop feeling fake?

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happy face.

오래간만이야. Seriously haha

Today, I made some smiling (and D:ing) egg rolls. (Not to be confused with eggrolls, which are also yummy but take more time to make.



Yummy. I really wanted 김밥 but the stores in the vicinity didn't have all the ingredients and I didn't want to drive all the way to the Korean store.

Seriously loving CNBlue these days. I should revamp this with CNBlue. I'll work on it and get to it. Someday haha -cough-

Congrats to them for winning Music Bank and Mutizen. Knew it was gonna happen. Hope they continue to beat out the competition, even with 소녀시대's comeback.

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fortune's fortune

Life's kinda funny. Sometimes it leaves you in a cloud of dust, letting you wander until you've found the path again. Yet other times it tells you exactly what to do in the most obvious way. I experienced the latter today.

Yeah. Its been kinda tough around here for me, but I'm doing fine. I'm living and that's all that matters. There are some complex decisions I'll have to make in the near future, but all I need to do is think it through.

Today, I went to a restaurant and got a fortune cookie. It said:

This year your highest priority will be your family.

This didn't exactly tell me what to do, but it reminded me of who I am. My family has always been a high - if not the highest - priority. Dalis said it just a little while ago. I don't go to clubs because: (1) I don't dance; (2) I don't smoke; (3) I don't drink; (4) I don't socialize. What am I left with, then?

My family and the friends that I have, of course.

I've also been listening to a lot of kho kho siab music lately. Sad, but true. But they're good songs. 인사 by 동방신기. Already Gone by Kelly Clarkson.

I need something happy before I get pulled under. There's just so much to think about.

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best idea ever

Aw man I just thought of the BEST IDEA EVER. But before I get to that, my friend linked me to this performance of Going to the Hospital by Miru. It made me a little sad. In the beginning of the clip there was the usual backstage-crack-by-waiting-performers. And Wonbin was there with FT Island, doing the wave with SHINee and 2PM.

But yeah. So back to my best idea ever.

I was talking with my friend on fb chat and we got to talking about fangirling and stuff. And then she said that if we ever got backstage we'd give them a "love" towel. I said that doing that would be the farthest I'd ever go, cause I'm too lazy to make them bentos and stuff BUT if I ever did make them a bento it'd definitely be to drug them so it'd be easier to kidnap them.

Of course we'd need money and stuff to buy a remote island where no one can interrupt them doing their slave duties. She suggested we rob a bank, but that'd be too risky. I said we could just rent them out on the black market for a while until we could afford an island.

And then it hit me. What if I made an exclusive Host Club Island with them as the hosts?! I mean, of course I'd have to learn how to hypnotize people so that they don't know who they really are and they'll want to be my slaves there, but that's like a bump in the road on my way to Everest.

Security guards will be my huge bro and cousins. We'll hire my friend in the Navy to fight off pirates. All we need to do is find an island (possibly with more than five treasures on it).

Its a plan. Now who wants in?

PS Linh made me remember that there are many other things that will fatten Taemin up (and possibly clog his arteries), like FRIED twinkies and FRIED cheesecake and FRIED candybars with whipped cream and chocolate syrup. Someone needs to get SHINee a gig at the state fair here. He can eat all he wants. >D

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ho

I feel bad for only talking about SHINee and how they could have done it better. I'm not here to bash them or anything. They won the award at Music Bank yesterday for their song Juliette.

I won't go into the details about it. They won, so congratulations to them.

But wait. :O What's this I hear? Is it the Music Bank Ghost? If you watch the video, you'll see that its not a ghost. It's the sound of Jonghyun's near-death happiness.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not making fun of Jonghyun. He has every right to be happy and to fall to the ground in tears and elation. Apparently, its their first Music Bank win.

Congrats to them.

And I really like Taemin's hair but it makes his skinny body seem skinnier. He needs a box of twinkies and a hoho. I realized that I like his hair because it reminds me of Yoochun's Hiyaya/FILA promo hair. Wavy and a rich brown.


Radio House tonight should be good. :D

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