no lie

Been a long time. Again. New typeface, though. I felt like I needed to write this. I'm not going to lie.

I don't love any artists. I don't love FT Island. I don't love CNBLUE. I don't love TVXQ. I don't know why, but I don't feel like I can do that anymore. How can I come to love them when I don't even make enough time for me to sleep? How can I truly love them when I have so many other things to think about in my life?

I wish I could go back to the days when I could just push everything else away that I didn't want to think about. Those were the days when I could truly say, "I love FT Island. I love TVXQ." But it's just not the same any more. I can't go back to those days.

Does that make me a fake fan?

A place I like is closing soon. Everyone here was crying about it because they were sad. But they never asked me for help, even though I was there all the time. I could have helped. Now it feels too late. I really wish then that I knew. Maybe I could have had the power to change.

And yesterday I had a scary dream. It wasn't scary at first. I suppose it was more like a scary thought to end my dream. But it shed some light on my personality and how that affects my relationships. I woke up a little afraid, a little sad. I wish I could save her. I wish I could save a lot of things.

Does that make me a fake superhero?

And then I had another thought. If I stopped thinking, would it make me stop feeling fake?

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